You will survive the weeks you think you can’t.
This week was a tough one. I know it’s only my second full week here, but it was a doozy. Emotions ran high from the start and continued through the week, each day seeming longer than the previous. I had one toe on the ledge and had to be talked down multiple times.
I know I’m still very very new at all this and everyone keeps telling me to give it time because it will come. But that hasn’t stopped me from feeling bad every time I freeze up in the middle of going through the morning calendar routine, or for forgetting a dance move to a song I just learned, or let’s be real, calling a student by the wrong name. There are specific ways of doing things in this school and I’m still learning them, and then on top of it all I’m told I’m still supposed to just “have fun with it”. My brain is overloaded. I feel bad because I can’t just “have fun with it” on top of trying to remember everything I’ve been since starting. I felt a little like a robot who was trying to process multiple functions, and “fun” was at the bottom of the stack.
I’m still wrapping my head around the fact that I’m here; and just because I’m here, doesn’t mean life has stopped or really changed. It’s just taken a difference course of action. It still has the same ups and downs, they just involve a different cast, crew, and scenery.
One thing has remained the same though, I was encouraged to ask for help from everyone I worked with. Ask for help, show initiative in wanting to improve, work at it, and learn from everything. I think “teachable moment” is going to be the theme of the next year. For me and for my kiddos.
In the end though, Friday rolled around and I was still there and breathing; the week passed, none of my munchkins ate crayons, and I even made it (albeit not the most gracefully) through my after school English lessons. And you know what, next week is a new week to start fresh, and that’s exactly what I’m planning to do!